
✎作文范文
this evening, the teacher said, school will host a halloween party, the news, everybody happy to cheer, elated. the sound of laughter echoed in the classroom. in the evening, halloween party was started, the bell just rang, everyone is like an arrow, rushed downstairs to fall over each other. to the party venue, the foreign teachers have been ready, holding a bag of sugar, we used to shout: or treat trick. the way to get sugar is also different, but once you have a single, some teachers let you sing a song, and some let you answer the question. some are looking at the most loud, some are from the two floor, see your echnology. several times there are people to squeeze into the corner of the wall to grab sugar, i got more than 30 pieces of sugar, most are picked up, the three or four is singing, there are a few is to answer the question, the sugar can not put up, but to eat while walking. back to the bedroom more than 30 all into the stomach.
今天晚上,老师说学校会举办一个万圣节晚会,得到这一消息,大家都高兴得欢呼雀跃,心花怒放。嬉笑声在教室里久久回荡。 光说不做可不行,这不,上课了,老师先带着我们做面具,瞧我们一个个笨手笨脚的,_同学硬是把骷髅头面具画的慈眉善目,喜笑颜开的,竟和弥勒佛差不多。大家看了都忍俊不禁,哄堂大笑。y同学更是搞笑,我们做面具时,他竟趴在桌上睡着了,助教把他叫醒,问他做的面具在哪,想出他洋相。他还真有招,帽子一带,白纸往脸上一贴,叫嚷道:“一切搞定!”助教被搞的莫名其妙,问他画了什么。他镇定自若开玩笑地说道:“这都看不出来?笨啊你!明明就是无头幽灵嘛。”助教也无可奈何一笑而过。连外教都被他逗乐了。 到了晚上,万圣晚会开始了,铃声刚响,大家就像离弦的箭,争先恐后向楼下冲去。到了晚会场地,外教早已经准备完毕,手里都拿着一包包的糖,我们过去大声叫喊:“trick or treat。”得到糖的方式也各有不同,但一次仅给你一颗,有的外教让你唱首歌,有的让你回答问题。有的是看谁叫的最响,有的是从二楼抛下,看你们的“技术”。几次都有人把外教挤到墙角抢糖,我拿到了三十多颗糖,大多数是捡到的,三四颗是唱歌得的,还有几颗是回答问题得的,糖多的放不下了,只好一边吃一边走。回到寝室三十多颗都进了肚子。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、节日活动作文
适合年级:小学五年级、小学六年级、初中一年级
【成语使用】
欢呼雀跃、心花怒放、忍俊不禁、哄堂大笑、莫名其妙、镇定自若
【形容词】
高兴、笨手笨脚、慈眉善目、喜笑颜开、离弦的、争先恐后、响亮、技术
【好词好句】
1. 大家就像离弦的箭,争先恐后向楼下冲去。
2. 他硬是把骷髅头面具画得慈眉善目,喜笑颜开的,竟和弥勒佛差不多。
3. 帽子一带,白纸往脸上一贴,叫嚷道:“一切搞定!”
【修辞手法】
比喻:大家就像离弦的箭,争先恐后向楼下冲去,以“离弦的箭”喻学生奔向晚会的迅疾与急切
引用:trick or treat,直接引用万圣节经典问候语,增强文化真实感
排比:有的外教让你唱首歌,有的让你回答问题。有的是看谁叫得最响,有的是从二楼抛下,通过四组“有的……”强化活动形式的丰富性与现场节奏感
【文字校对】
• "elated"应为"兴高采烈"
• "echotechnology"应为"technique"
• "fall over each other"应为"pushing and shoving"
• "the way to get sugar is also different"应为"ways to get candy varied"
【写作亮点】
✓ 中英双语自然穿插,真实呈现国际化校园节日氛围
✓ 细节鲜活,如“白纸往脸上一贴”“挤到墙角抢糖”,画面感强
✓ 人物语言生动传神,符合儿童口吻与性格特征
✓ 时间线索清晰,从消息发布、手工准备到晚会高潮,结构完整