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i had a happy holiday last week.
on saturday morning,i watched tv and helped my mother wash clothes.in the afternoon,i cleaned three bedrooms in my house-- mine,my parents’ and my brother’s.
on sunday,i played football in the park.then i went to my grandparents’ house.grandpa played the piano!the whole family was so happy.later,we wanted to swim.but it was too cold.
this was a really nice holiday .
星期六上午，我看电视，帮妈妈洗衣服。在下午，我打扫了三间卧室在我的房子——我的，我的父母和我弟弟的。
上星期日，我在公园踢足球。然后我去爷爷奶奶家。爷爷弹钢琴！全家人都很高兴。后来，我们想去游泳。但它是冷的。
这真是一个愉快的假期。
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名师·深度剖析
作文类型：记叙文、日记体
适合年级：小学三年级、小学四年级、小学五年级
【成语使用】
【形容词】
happy、nice、cold、whole、pleasant、excited
【好词好句】
1. grandpa played the piano! the whole family was so happy.
2. this was a really nice holiday.
3. on saturday morning, i watched tv and helped my mother wash clothes.
【修辞手法】
【文字校对】
• "in the afternoon,i cleaned three bedrooms in my house-- mine,my parents’ and my brother’s."应为"in the afternoon, i cleaned three bedrooms in my house—mine, my parents’, and my brother’s."
• "on sunday,i played football"应为"on sunday, i played football"
• "it was too cold."应为"it was too cold."
• "this was a really nice holiday ."应为"this was a really nice holiday."
• "星期六上午，我看电视，帮妈妈洗衣服。在下午，我打扫了三间卧室在我的房子，我的，我的父母和我弟弟的。"应为"星期六上午，我看电视，帮妈妈洗衣服。下午，我打扫了家里的三间卧室，我的、爸爸妈妈的和我弟弟的。"
• "上星期日，我在公园踢足球。"应为"星期日，我在公园踢足球。"
【写作亮点】
✓ 时间线索清晰，按周六、周日自然分段
✓ 中英文对照呈现，体现双语表达意识
✓ 动作描写具体，如“watched tv”“helped my mother wash clothes”“cleaned three bedrooms”
✓ 情感真挚，通过“so happy”“really nice holiday”自然流露节日氛围
