
✎作文范文
话题:
在公共场合,有许多人都不注意自己的言行,甚至有些人做出令人感到不舒服的事情,例如:随地吐痰,扔垃圾,大小便等等。这些不文明行为不仅破坏了公共环境的卫生,给周围的人带来诸多不便,而且还有可能传播细菌和疾病,因此公共场合不文明现象必须引起重视,对此,你有什么想说的。
参考例文一:
we may have e_perienced such an e_perience before: most people always do some uncivilized things in a public places, which disgust and annoy most other people. such as spitting, littering, peeing in public. personally i had the embarrassing e_perience one late night of seeing a man peeing alongside the river. he was not embarrassed at all.
such inappropriate public behaviors have a terrible influence on society. on the one hand, most unsanitary behavior can spread germs and diseases to the general public. on the other hand, these behaviors may lead to the pollution of the environment and show little or no consideration for the environment.
we have to take measures to improve this situation. our government should emphasize this kind of behaviors. our teachers should teach and enforce acceptable standards for all students. and in the home, parents should teach the children what is right by e_ample.
参考例文二:
there is no doubt that the immoral behaviors e_ist in every public place. for e_ample in beijing subway, when you try to get a ticket, you will find a lot of people waiting in front of you, and nobody is in the line.
immoral behaviors in public bring about a series of problems. one of the most serious things is that it may lead to a negative impact on our sense of social responsibility. we will keep ignoring other people’s rights and feelings, and in turn, we also will be disrespected someday.
to improve this phenomenon is certainly a difficult thing. but it is necessary to call people on doing appropriate things in a public places.
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:议论文、话题作文
适合年级:初中二年级、初中三年级、高中一年级
【成语使用】
无
【形容词】
不文明、尴尬、不卫生、负面、必要
【好词好句】
1. “这些不文明行为不仅破坏了公共环境的卫生,给周围的人带来诸多不便,而且还有可能传播细菌和疾病”
2. “we have to take measures to improve this situation”
3. “it may lead to a negative impact on our sense of social responsibility”
【修辞手法】
【文字校对】
• "e_perienced"应为"experienced"
• "uncivilized"应为"uncivilised"或统一为美式拼写"uncivilized"(但属可接受变体,非硬性错误)
• "a public places"应为"public places"
• "peeing"口语化过强,正式写作中宜用"urinating"
• "immoral behaviors"宜改为"uncivil behaviors"或"disruptive behaviors"(因"immoral"语义过重,与随地吐痰等行为程度不匹配)
【写作亮点】
✓ 观点清晰,紧扣“公共场合不文明现象”展开论述
✓ 结构完整,具备问题呈现、影响分析与对策建议三层逻辑
✓ 中英双语对照呈现,体现跨语言思辨意识
✓ 举例具体,如“深夜河边小便”“北京地铁插队”,增强现实感