
✎作文范文
西方国家在每年的十月份都要过万圣节,万圣节又叫鬼节,在这一天里,家家户户都要做南瓜灯,而小朋友们会戴上恐怖的面具,到各家去讨糖果吃。上午,我们做面具,同学们有的做成蝙蝠样,有的做成小鸟样,还有的做成鬼青面獠牙的样子,有一个同学做的面具玩,说这是个野猪的面具,估计打死你也不相信这是个野猪的面具。
到了下午,外教教我们做南瓜灯,先是把南瓜掏空,再用刀子来刻出它的“眼睛”、“鼻子”和“嘴巴”,我只用了两分钟就做完了,“鼻子”和“嘴巴”还像模像样,可是我一不小心吧它的“眼睛”靠得太近,成了斗鸡眼。瞧它吹胡子瞪眼的样子,好像在责怪我丑化了它呢!
晚上,最令人期盼的时刻到了。万圣节游园会真正开始了,老师带这我们去讨糖果,只有答对了题目才能拿到糖果。我们来到第一个班级,问题是杭州外国语学校的英文名是什么。幸好我们都知道,是hangzhou foreign languages school,所以每人都拿到了糖果……最后我拿到了二十二颗糖果。
万圣节游园会有意思啊!在这一天,也能让我们装神弄鬼一番,让我们感受到西方国家独有的文化。
n october of western countries each year to a halloween, halloween also called halloween, on this day, every household will make pumpkin lamp, and the children will wear masks to his horror, go trick-or-treating. in the morning, we do some students make mask, bats, some birds kind, and made the qingmianlaoya ghost, made a classmate do most of the mask, said it was a funny boar mask, estimates that killed you also don believe this is a wild boar masks.
in the afternoon, the jack-o-lantern outside teach us the hollowed pumpkin, first, then use the knife to carve out the eye, ose and mouth, i had only two minutes to finish, ose and mouth also resemble a model pretty, but my eyes! its carelessly too close, became cross-eyed. look at it like the glaring, as it was in the blame me uglification!
look at the time. halloween fete really begins, the teacher take this we go trick-or-treating, only the right questions to get candy. we came to the first class, the problem is hangzhou foreign language school english name is nothing. fortunately, we all know, is it a hangzhou foreign, so everyone got candy... i finally got 22 candy.
halloween fete interesting! on this day, also can let us clerical, let us feel unique culture of western countries.
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、节日文化体验作文
适合年级:小学五年级、六年级、初中一年级
【成语使用】
青面獠牙、吹胡子瞪眼、装神弄鬼
【形容词】
恐怖、有趣、模像样、斗鸡眼、期盼、独特
【好词好句】
1. 瞧它吹胡子瞪眼的样子,好像在责怪我丑化了它呢!
2. 万圣节游园会有意思啊!
3. 在这一天,也能让我们装神弄鬼一番,让我们感受到西方国家独有的文化。
【修辞手法】
比喻:"'眼睛'靠得太近,成了斗鸡眼",以人眼部特征喻南瓜灯刻痕位置失当,生动诙谐
【文字校对】
• "鬼青面獠牙"应为"青面獠牙"
• "玩"应为"完"
• "吧"应为"把"
• "老师带这我们"应为"老师带着我们"
• "hangzhou foreign languages school"应为"hangzhou foreign languages school"
• "n october of western countries each year to a halloween"等英文段落存在大量拼写与语法错误,属非规范表达
【写作亮点】
✓ 按时间顺序清晰呈现万圣节活动全过程,结构自然流畅
✓ 善用口语化表达增强现场感,如“估计打死你也不相信”“有意思啊”富有童趣
✓ 南瓜灯拟人化描写鲜活,“吹胡子瞪眼”“责怪我丑化了它”赋予物件灵性
✓ 中英双语穿插体现跨文化学习情境,虽英文有误但真实反映课堂实践场景