✎作文范文
hello,im li hong.mr.black is our math teacher.he is 35 years old.he became a teacher 10 years ago.
he has a lot of good habits in his life.he likes playing basketbasll,reading many books,watch tv and so on.he has many knowlegdge since he likes reading more books.sometimes,he also plays basketball in the park so he is very strong.
he is a very fantastic teacher.he is serious in work so that our math grades will be better soon.happily,she is our friend after class.he often helps me a lot so i like him.
as a result,mr.black is my favorite teacher.my classmates and i like him very much!
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型：人物描写、记叙文
适合年级：小学五年级、六年级、初中一年级
【成语使用】
【形容词】
fantastic、serious、strong、happy、favorite、many
【好词好句】
1. he is a very fantastic teacher.
2. he is serious in work so that our math grades will be better soon.
3. happily, she is our friend after class.
4. as a result, mr. black is my favorite teacher.
【修辞手法】
【文字校对】
• "basketbasll"应为"basketball"
• "knowlegdge"应为"knowledge"
• "she"应为"he"
• "watch tv"应为"watching tv"
• "plays basketball in the park so he is very strong"逻辑牵强，"so"使用不当，宜改为"and"
【写作亮点】
✓ 人物形象基本清晰，从年龄、职业、爱好、性格多角度展开
✓ 情感真挚，体现师生之间的亲近与敬重
✓ 句式有一定变化，包含简单句、复合句和连接词运用
✓ 主题集中，始终围绕“mr. black是我的最爱老师”展开