
✎作文范文
went to the window, the small bell gently pushed open the window. saw a simple teacher chen is lying on the bed to sleep with. she saw the teacher the magdalene teos face small bell e_cited, also follow satisfiedly smiled to get up. the teacher must have been dreaming to see the class are making great progress in grades, so he smiled in relief. small bell scanned the teachers desktop. teacher is how simple and industrious ah: the table with a globe with stationery, old brush pot. and also open the cap of red ink, the teacher work must be done very late yesterday, chinese reference book is left under the teacher with a red mark! small bell smiled, put the bundle of golden chrysanthemums in the teacher work brush pot. small bell beaming, glad to back to school. he bell bell bell... the bell rang. students go back to the classroom, i saw the teacher chen holding the chinese books and reference books. her right hand a bunch of chrysanthemum. chrysanthemum fragrance 4 e_cessive. let the students smile. the teacher to the students bowed and said thanks to the classmates to bless. one day, the teacher and the students happy to lead the teachers day. the bouquet of wild chrysanthemum flower so dazzle, golden.
“明天就是教师节了,我们送什么礼物给老师呢?”“送文具吧……”同学们议论纷纷,正准备送给老师的礼物。大家一致同意由小铃挑选和送去。 清晨,小铃背着书包,戴着鲜艳的红领巾。她漫步在满是花朵的小路上。正想着送什么礼物给老师。突然,她望见了在群花中发着金光的野菊花。摘下了最漂亮的一束。蹦蹦跳跳地向老师的宿舍走去。 走到了窗前,小铃轻轻地推开了窗子。看见了俭朴的陈老师正躺在床上呼呼地睡着。她看见老师那张慈祥的脸小铃兴奋着,也跟着得意地笑了起来。老师一定是做梦看见同学门的成绩大有进步,所以他欣慰地笑了。小铃扫视了老师的桌面。老师是多么地简朴与勤劳呀:桌上摆着地球仪、陈旧的笔筒上插着文具。还有那还打开瓶盖的红墨水,老师昨天工作一定做得很晚了,语文参考书还留下老师用红笔画下的记号呢! 小铃微笑着,把那束金色的的菊花插在老师工作的笔筒上。小铃喜上眉梢,高兴地回校上课了。 “铃铃铃……”铃钟响了。同学们回到教室,只见陈老师抱着语文书和参考书。右手提着一束菊花。菊花清香四溢。让同学们喜形于色。老师向同学们鞠了个躬,表示对同学们的感谢加以祝福。这天,老师与同学们高兴地过上了这个教师节。 那束野菊花还是那么光芒耀眼、金光灿烂。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、写人作文、节日主题作文
适合年级:小学四年级、五年级、六年级
【成语使用】
喜上眉梢、喜形于色、清香四溢、光芒耀眼、金光灿烂
【形容词】
俭朴、慈祥、陈旧、金色、简朴、勤劳、鲜艳、欣慰
【好词好句】
1. 她漫步在满是花朵的小路上。
2. 老师一定是做梦看见同学们的成绩大有进步,所以他欣慰地笑了。
3. 桌上摆着地球仪、陈旧的笔筒上插着文具。
4. 那束野菊花还是那么光芒耀眼、金光灿烂。
【修辞手法】
比喻:将野菊花比作“金光灿烂”的存在,突出其明亮温暖的象征意义
【文字校对】
• "teos"应为"慈祥"
• "e_cited"应为"兴奋"
• "4 e_cessive"应为"四溢"
• "同学门"应为"同学们"
• "的的菊花"应为"的菊花"
【写作亮点】
✓ 以儿童视角展开叙事,纯真自然,富有生活气息
✓ 细节描写丰富,如红墨水瓶盖未合、参考书上的红笔批注等,真实可感
✓ 时间线索清晰,从清晨送花到课堂呈现,结构完整
✓ 结尾呼应开头,野菊花意象贯穿始终,含蓄隽永