✎作文范文
my rubbies
my little white rabbit is a gift from grandma in nantong. its name is snowball.
the rabbits ears are long and furry. it also has a fat white head and a pair of red eyes. its very cute.
children, do you know? actually, i didn put the little white rabbit in the cage, but i used a rope to hold the white rabbit like a dog. when i eat, the rabbit will cry, as if to say: little master, im hungry, can i have a carrot? when i was ready to go out to play, the little rabbit asked me to take him out to play.
children, do you like white rabbits too?
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型：记叙文、状物文
【形容词】
long、furry、fat、white、red、cute
【好词好句】
1. “its name is snowball.”
2. “the rabbits ears are long and furry.”
3. “when i eat, the rabbit will cry, as if to say: little master, im hungry, can i have a carrot?”
4. “when i was ready to go out to play, the little rabbit asked me to take him out to play.”
【修辞手法】
比喻：[“its name is snowball”，以“雪球”喻指兔子通体洁白、圆润可爱的外形]
【文字校对】
• "rubbies"应为"rabbits"
• "nantong"应为"nantong"
• "i didn put"应为"i didn’t put"
• "im"应为"i’m"
• "him"应为"it"
【写作亮点】
✓ 观察细致，从耳朵、头、眼睛等多角度描写兔子外形
✓ 赋予兔子拟人化言行，童趣盎然，充满生活气息
✓ 以第一人称娓娓道来，语气亲切自然，富有现场感
✓ 巧用设问开头与结尾，形成呼应，增强互动性