✎作文范文
my english friend name is fan junran.she’s twelve years old. she is tall, but not plump. she has black long hair, two big eyes and a lovely mouth. she often tells me lots of the funny things
luky has many hobbies. she likes sports very much. she can play basketball. she plays very well. she is good at the high jump, long-distance running and swimming.
she is very health, right? and luky likes art. she likes singing, dancing and playing the electronic organ. she dances very well.
she likes hip-hop so much. she is so cool when she dances hip-hop.
we are good friends now. i’m so happy to meet her. she is a very breeziness girl. do you want to be friends with her now?
初一:肖磊
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型：人物介绍、英语习作、记叙文
适合年级：初中一年级、初中二年级
【形容词】
tall、plump、black、long、big、lovely、funny、health、cool、breeziness
【好词好句】
1. she is so cool when she dances hip-hop.
2. she is a very breeziness girl.
3. we are good friends now. i’m so happy to meet her.
【修辞手法】
比喻：she is so cool when she dances hip-hop，以“cool”隐喻其自信洒脱的气质，赋予动作以人格化神采
【文字校对】
• "my english friend name is fan junran"应为"my english friend's name is fan junran"
• "she is very health"应为"she is very healthy"
• "she is a very breeziness girl"应为"she is a very breezy girl"
• "luky has many hobbies"应为"lucky has many hobbies"
• "she likes sports very much"应为"she likes sports very much."（句末缺标点）
• "she plays very well"应为"she plays it very well."
【写作亮点】
✓ 人物外貌描写层次清晰，从身高、体型到发色、五官有序展开
✓ 兴趣爱好呈现多维立体感，兼顾体育与艺术两大领域
✓ 动作描写富有画面感，“dances hip-hop”“plays basketball”等短语简洁有力
✓ 情感表达真挚自然，结尾设问增强互动性与感染力
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