
✎作文范文
new year party
on new years eve, our class had a party. the atmosphere was good. it was out of the ordinary from the very begining. the boy student from one bedroom gave an unusual performance. we saw a boy named li _inmin turn off all the lights in a sudden snap. then with three resounding crow of a cock echoing in the hall, the hall was again brightly lit in a snap.
then, the representative of the bedroom zhu guozhang asked us to guess a line of a poem related to the above situation. he added that li _inmin alone was born in the year of the dog and the other three were all born in the year of the chicken. they left us all in confusion. and it was our monitor who was quickwitted. he shouted our, he day breaks as the cock crows three times at dawn. the hall after that, they had another item. this time li _inmin was placed in the middle of the circle. while he was standing there, the other three stood around him, each bowing down to him at an angle of 120 degrees. it was an idiom. this time i got it right: he dog stands out among a group of chickens.
then we all sang and played games until it was eleven oclock at night. the old man on night watch came to turn off the lights. we had to tear ourselves away from the party.
from this activity, i discovered that many of our classmates are really talented singers.
新年晚会
在除夕,我们班有个聚会。气氛很好。这是不平凡的从一开始。从一个卧室的男孩学生有一个不寻常的表现。我们看到一个男孩名叫李新民突然关闭所有的灯。然后带着三只公鸡在大厅里回荡,大厅里又被一个明亮的灯光照亮了。
然后,朱国章让我们猜一行一诗与上述情况寝室的代表。他补充说,李新民单独出生的狗和其他三年都在鸡年出生的。他们给我们留下了所有的混乱。这是我们的班长,他是机智。他叫我们,“黎明前的公鸡乌鸦叫了三声,”大厅里又有一个。这次李新民被安置在中间的圆圈。当他站在那儿时,另三个站在他身边,每个人都在120度的角度向他鞠躬。这是一个成语。这一次,我得到了它:“狗站在一群小鸡。”
然后我们一起唱歌,玩游戏,直到晚上十一点。那老人在夜晚的手表来关了灯。我们不得不把自己从聚会中撕裂。
从这次活动中,我发现我们班的许多同学都是很有才华的歌手。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、节日作文、校园活动作文
适合年级:初中二年级、初中三年级、高中一年级
【成语使用】
出人意料、鸡犬不宁、鹤立鸡群、画龙点睛、狗仗人势、狗尾续貂
【形容词】
热闹、明亮、机智、不平凡、欢快、神秘、精彩、温馨
【好词好句】
1. “大厅里又被一个明亮的灯光照亮了”
2. “黎明前的公鸡乌鸦叫了三声”
3. “他狗站在一群小鸡”
【修辞手法】
比喻:以“狗站在一群小鸡”喻指李新民在生肖属相中独属狗而其余三人皆属鸡,形成鲜明对比,生动诙谐
引用:“黎明前的公鸡乌鸦叫了三声”化用古诗“雄鸡一唱天下白”意境,暗扣守岁迎新主题
排比:三次“一个……一个……一个……”式动作描写(关灯、鸡鸣、亮灯),节奏紧凑,增强现场感
【文字校对】
• "li _inmin"应为"li xinmin"
• "he day breaks as the cock crows three times at dawn"应为"he who day breaks as the cock crows three times at dawn"
• "tear ourselves away from the party"应为"tear ourselves away from the party"
• "乌鸦叫了三声"应为"公鸡叫了三声"
• "狗站在一群小鸡"应为"鹤立鸡群"
【写作亮点】
✓ 双语对照结构自然呈现跨文化表达意识
✓ 以生肖为线索贯穿全文,构思新颖且富有民俗趣味
✓ 场景切换流畅,明暗交替与声音设计营造强烈画面感
✓ 结尾由欢庆转入静思,情感收束含蓄隽永