
✎作文范文
in my mind the most beautiful person is not the appearance of beautiful people, but the heart is pure, simple life of environmental protection angel.
dawn, we are still warm bed curled up, but some people in the middle of the night is out of bed in the climb up, start a days work, they are environment-friendly angel.
the hot summer, the hot sun baked the earth. i hide in a cool place, saw in the hot sun, sanitation workers to clean the earth, their a pair of sun black oil hand force clenched broom, zizi sweeping, don let that garbage. when i passed the sanitation workers around the, i saw sanitation workers orange dress like water soaking wet with the same, the original is the sanitation workers sweat it suddenly dawned on me, sanitation workers with sweat in e_change for a clean earth.
bleak winter, i sat in the warm home, outside a feather like snowflakes, spread a layer of white carpet. i saw several sanitation workers with shovels shoveling the snow on the ground this difficult. they run their heads on their heads, but they are not discouraged, thinking: if you do not shovel the snow, the ground will be smooth, as long as there is a car after the accident, it will happen, so it will be very small. -- to give us security.
sanitation workers regardless of the cold heat, no matter how hard the work, they will insist on their own jobs, so i think they are the most beautiful environmental angel.
在我心中最美丽的人不是外表漂丽的人,而是内心纯洁,生活朴实的环保天使。
黎明,我们还在温暖的被窝里蜷缩着,但有些人在深夜就从被窝里爬起来,开始一天的工作,他们就是环保天使。
烈日炎炎的夏天,酷热的太阳烘烤着的大地。我躲在阴凉的地方,看见在火辣辣的日光下,环卫工人在给大地清洁,他们那双太阳晒的黑油的手用力的紧握扫把,仔仔细细的扫着,不放过一点垃圾。当我经过环卫工人身边时,我看见环卫工人的橙色衣服像被水浸泡湿了一样,原来是环卫工人的汗水我恍然大悟——环卫工人用汗水换来了干净的大地。
寒风刺骨的冬天,我坐在温暖的家里,外边下着鹅毛般的雪花,地上铺了一层雪白的“地毯”。我看见有几位环卫工人拿着铁锹吃力铲这地面上的积雪。他们头上冒着热气,但他们没有气馁,心想:“如果不把雪铲开,地面会很光滑,只要有汽车经过不小心打滑,就会发生车祸,所以这点付出微不足道。”——给我们换来了安全。
环卫工人不管严寒酷暑,不管工作有多么艰辛,他们都会坚持在自己的工作岗位,所以我认为他们是最美丽的环保天使。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:写人、记叙文、抒情散文
适合年级:小学五年级、六年级、初中一年级
【成语使用】
烈日炎炎、寒风刺骨、恍然大悟、微不足道、仔仔细细
【形容词】
温暖、黑油、火辣辣、阴凉、雪白、酷热、朴实、洁净
【好词好句】
1. 在我心中最美丽的人不是外表漂丽的人,而是内心纯洁,生活朴实的环保天使。
2. 他们那双太阳晒的黑油的手用力的紧握扫把,仔仔细细的扫着,不放过一点垃圾。
3. 环卫工人的橙色衣服像被水浸泡湿了一样,原来是环卫工人的汗水……环卫工人用汗水换来了干净的大地。
4. 如果不把雪铲开,地面会很光滑,只要有汽车经过不小心打滑,就会发生车祸,所以这点付出微不足道。
【修辞手法】
比喻:环卫工人的橙色衣服像被水浸泡湿了一样,以“水浸泡”喻汗透衣衫,形象传达辛劳之深
引用:“,给我们换来了安全。”,化用责任担当语义,具口语化力量感
排比:不管严寒酷暑,不管工作有多么艰辛,形成节奏感与情感递进
【文字校对】
• "漂丽"应为"漂亮"
• "e_change"应为"exchange"
• "zizi"应为"吱吱"或删去拟声词(中文语境下宜用规范拟声)
• "这困难"应为"这地面上的积雪"(范文“铲这困难”搭配不当)
• "run their heads on their heads"属英文误译,对应中文“头上冒着热气”已准确,英文段落存在多处语法与表达错误,但中文部分无误
【写作亮点】
✓ 双语对照结构自然呈现成长视角与跨语言表达意识
✓ 以“四季”为经纬组织素材,层次清晰且富有时间纵深感
✓ 细节真实动人:黑油的手、湿透的橙衣、冒热气的额头,具象可感
✓ 情感层层升华,由观察到理解,由感动到敬仰,真挚不造作