
✎作文范文
today, i feel very happy because we have to make dumplings. teacher brought a bowl of water and delicious stuffing, as well as round and thin dumpling skin. teacher taught the first time, we like to do in accordance with the teacher, left hand holding the dumpling skin, right hand with a piece of stuffing chopsticks into the middle of the dumpling skin, dip your finger in water, the water stick around in the dumpling skin, then fold pinch, the pinch all around, a chubby dumpling to do a good job, and i do it in accordance with previous methods, then we put together a good package dumplings. the dumplings on the plate, and some neat row of the team, and some take the shape of the emission imaging. some dumplings disk bulging like a big round general heads held high, triumphantly. some dumplings are flat like a thin dry old man, pulling his head, listless.
now to eat dumplings it! some children have jumped with joy, cried out. now i know only their own bag to pack out the most delicious dumplings.
今天,我感到非常高兴,因为我们必须做饺子。老师带了一碗水和美味的馅,还有圆又薄的饺子皮。老师教的第一时间,我们要按照老师,左手拿着饺子皮,用一根筷子在馅的饺子皮中间,右手,把手指浸在水中,水沾在饺子皮,然后折叠夹,在夹,一胖乎乎的饺子,做一个好工作,我做的与以前的方法一致,然后我们一起把包好的饺子。在盘子上的饺子,和一些整齐的队伍,和一些采取的发射成像的形状。一些饺子盘凸出的像一个大的圆的一般昂首挺胸,得意洋洋地。饺子是扁平状细干的老人,把他的头,无精打采。
现在吃饺子吧!有些孩子高兴地跳了起来,哭了。现在我只知道自己包里包了最美味的饺子。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、活动描写
适合年级:小学三年级、小学四年级、小学五年级
【成语使用】
昂首挺胸、得意洋洋、无精打采
【形容词】
高兴、美味、圆、薄、胖乎乎、整齐、扁平、细干
【好词好句】
1. 有些饺子盘凸出的像一个大的圆的一般昂首挺胸,得意洋洋地。
2. 有些饺子是扁平状细干的老人,把他的头,无精打采。
3. 现在我只知道自己包里包了最美味的饺子。
【修辞手法】
比喻:有些饺子盘凸出的像一个大的圆的一般昂首挺胸,得意洋洋地,以“大圆将军”喻饱满挺立的饺子,赋予拟人神态
比喻:有些饺子是扁平状细干的老人,把他的头,无精打采,将扁塌饺子比作垂头丧气的老人,生动传神
【文字校对】
• "teacher taught the first time" 应为 "the teacher began by demonstrating"
• "left hand holding the dumpling skin, right hand with a piece of stuffing chopsticks into the middle" 应为 "left hand holding the dumpling skin, right hand using chopsticks to place a portion of stuffing in the center"
• "the pinch all around" 应为 "pinch the edges all around"
• "some take the shape of the emission imaging" 应为 "some take on unexpected shapes"
• "now i know only their own bag to pack out the most delicious dumplings" 应为 "now i know that the dumplings i made myself taste the most delicious"
【写作亮点】
✓ 观察细致,抓住不同饺子形态差异进行形象刻画
✓ 拟人化表达自然鲜活,赋予食物以人格神态
✓ 中英双语对照呈现童趣与真实学习情境
✓ 结尾由事及理,朴素中见真味