家庭给我的幸福

1250字
主题:亲情、责任、成长、温暖、日常、守护

在我们这个洁净的家中,“勤杂工”是不可缺少的,他就是我爸爸。每天看到家里哪个物品坏了或哪个东西脏了,我的爸爸总是挺身而出。记得有一次,我的台灯坏了,我急忙找来爸爸,爸爸看了我以后,立刻拿来工具,开始修理起来,随着一声声叮呤咣铛的修理声后,我的台灯修好了!我刚要说声谢谢爸爸,爸爸却拿来抹布,把台灯仔细一擦了一遍,然后问我怎么样?我一看,这哪是用过多年的台灯,简直就像新的一样,我高兴地一下扑进爸爸的怀里,连声说:“谢谢好爸爸!”爸爸高兴的笑了。

望着满满一大衣柜大大小小、花花绿绿的衣服,我就想起和“购物狂”妈妈购物的情景。一天中午,我刚吃完午饭,妈妈就二话不说地拉着我去西单。我问妈妈:“为什么这么着急?”妈妈说:“今天西单大减价。”我们讯速跑到三楼,买了3件衣服,然后又买了筐生活用品,这时我如同泄了气的皮球,硬是要妈妈回家,妈妈这才闷闷不乐地回家了。

我在家是个“乖乖女”。每天放学回家认真完成作业后仔细检查,天天帮爸爸妈妈做家务。其实,这还不是我的本能,我呀,最会照顾人了。记得有一次妈妈生病了,正巧又是爸爸值班,于是我决定照顾妈妈,我先给妈妈做了一个西红柿鸡蛋面,然后轻轻端给她,妈妈很感动,我也很高兴。妈妈一口一口地吃完,便抚摸着我的头说:“真乖,我的女儿长大了!”当时我心里美滋滋的。第二天,在我的照顾下,妈妈的病有了好转。她逢人就夸我是个好孩子,说的我都有些不好意思了。

这就是我们一家,一个幸福快乐的一家。

我的家中有九位成员。大家都很亲切。我有一个慈祥和蔼的妈妈,一个健康开朗的爸爸,一个诚恳老实的爸爸,和一个念高中的大哥,一个被退学的二哥,还有一个正在考虑休学还是堕胎的大姐,一个还不知道性别的外甥。其实还有奶奶,但是奶奶在跑路,爷爷在坐牢,都不在。

我想奶奶比较长寿。因为老年人总是要多多运动比较好,不要一直坐着。爷爷。你说是吗?妈妈平常喜欢讲电话,因为她在家上班可以经营情色电话专线。

爸爸甲喜欢假日养花种草,但是最近收成的作物都被警方查获销毁了。喜欢种种罂粟的话,大麻难道有错吗?这阵子他都不太开心。爸爸乙就会安慰爸爸甲:“时机不好,不如来我公司上班。”爸爸乙喜欢替人家煮宵夜,他每天很晚才去上班,就是去做午夜牛郎。

大哥常常玩电脑,替收保护费的班级名单建档管理,在南区他是第一个,我以大哥为荣。二哥想去爸爸乙公司上班,爸爸乙觉得等他大一点在来。大姐的兴趣是收集火柴盒,到目前收集了九百九十多个,她说她的目标是有一天要把这个家烧掉。

我最敬佩警察伯伯,每天都埋伏在我家附近,让我们有安全感,而且每天来我家问我:“爸爸回来了没有?”警察伯伯太让我感动,主动关切家中成员,所谓警民一条心,所以我们要尊敬警察伯伯。

我的家庭气氛很和谐,打扫的也干净,找不到一颗弹壳。爸爸特别交待我,他的手枪,冲锋枪,手榴弹每次用完后,必须如何保养,让我从中体会,东西用完一定要好好爱惜保养,否则用时会后悔不已。爸爸告诉我很多做人做事的道理,有这么美满的家庭,我要努力用功读书,才不辜负家人岁我的爱护。

精选读者点评

这个“勤杂工”爸爸真鲜活叮呤咣铛声一响,人就立住了,修灯擦灯那一下,比直接说“爱我”还暖。后面购物狂妈妈也挺有味儿,但“泄了气的皮球”这句,再想想?换成你当时真实想说的话试试?

少先队员 a young pioneer

300字
主题:善良、责任、友爱、成长、奉献

a young pioneer

wang lin is a young pioneer. it seems to me that he is a very ordinary student. he is tall and thin. he is a boy of few words. but we all know he is quite good at english and chinese.

last week a woman came to our school. she came to thank wang lin. the woman is li qiang's mother. this is the story she told us.

a year ago, my son, li qiang, was seriously ill. he was so ill that he couldn't go to school. when wang lin learned it from the newspaper, he decided to do something to help my son.

he kept visiting my son and encouraged him. he helped him with his lessons once a week. they made good friends. with the help of wang lin, li qiang didn't feel lonely any more. now li

qiang has recovered. i am quite grateful to the boy for his kind help.

what a good young pioneer he is!

精选读者点评

这个“普通学生”不普通啊!瘦高个儿、话不多,可帮生病同学补课、陪聊、鼓劲儿,悄悄把善良种进别人心里了。结尾那句感叹号,真像你攥着小拳头说出来的。

改写我的叔叔于勒

300字
主题:身份幻觉、亲情异化、阶级焦虑、人性张力、世相讽刺、期待落差

父亲带着两个姐姐、姐夫走到卖牡蛎的老水手旁边,姐姐们围着老水手计较牡蛎的价钱,父亲看着两个姐姐不知如何是好,正想转身逃开,却听见身后传来一阵洪亮如钟的笑声,父亲好奇地回头看那位请漂亮太太吃牡蛎的体面的先生,不由得浑身哆嗦了起来,突然一个趔趄摔倒在地上,等母亲回头时,他已经迅速站了起来,一脸或惊或喜朝我们走来。

他低声对我母亲说:“你看!那个富翁长得多像于勒!”他顺手指了指那位先生。

母亲突然结巴得说不出话,两眼死死地盯着前面西装履革,头发抹得油光可鉴的先生,突然,她大叫了一声“于勒!”我和父亲吓了一跳,看着她提起裙摆,一扭一扭地走向我那位百万富翁的“于勒叔叔”。

精选读者点评

这个“趔趄摔倒”写得真立体!不是平铺直叙说“他吓了一跳”,而是身子先出卖了心里,脚下一滑,人就塌了,又赶紧弹起来,脸还绷着装没事……比直接写“震惊”掷地有声

my mother

200字
主题:亲情、成长、榜样、爱、教育、感恩

hello!i am lily.i am happy to introduce myself to you.i.am ten years old.i like my family and my favorite family is my mother.can i introduce my mother to you?

my mother is a teacher,and she is a english teacher.because she think that english is useful for us.and she goes to school by her car.she doesn teach me but she goes school with me.she likes singing,and she always sings songs to me.i am admire her so much.

she is good with me,so i like her very much.

精选读者点评

lily,你写妈妈时眼睛都在发亮呢!“她总给我唱歌”这句真暖,要是把“i am admire her”改成“i really admire her”,就更像你在说话啦~

my favourite singer

300字
主题:成长、追梦、榜样力量、自我认同、热爱、坚持

my favourite singer

she is such an ideal singer!

she is a girl with a lot of talent. she is a girl but she has individuality like a boy. on the stage, she sings and dances so well. she is so happy and she makes us e_cited… can you guess who she is? yes, she is li yuchun, the winner of “super girl 2026.”

she is a student of sichuan music college in grade 3. she is twenty-one this year. she is 1.74 metres tall. now she is very popular in china and even in the world. i know she worked hard in the past, and has succeeded today. i’ll learn from her and try my best to achieve my dream.

i like her because she is so cool and lovely. i love her because she makes me feel happy. i enjoy her because she is independent and she has the individuality of herself.

li yuchun, i’ll cheer for you forever!

精选读者点评

开头太直白啦!“my favourite singer”像抄题目,试试换成一句如临其境的话?比如“她一开口,我耳机里的世界就安静了”,你写李宇春跳舞那段多带感啊,开头也这样亮一嗓子呗!

优雅永恒 elegance never fades

400字
主题:人格魅力、美与善统一、精神传承、人文关怀

优雅永恒 elegance never fades

audrey hepburn is a very famous actress, and she is known by people all around the world. her elegant image is followed by the girls all the time. though hepburn had passed away for many years, her movies are very classic and many young girls still watch her movies and they try to be as elegant as her. hepburn is like the angel. she is not only very pretty, but also has the very kind heart. she was doing charity all the time. she cared about the poor children so much and she went to the poor places to see kids. she called on people to help these miserable children. hepburn’s elegance will never fade.

奥黛丽·赫本是非常的女演员,来自世界各地的人们都对她很熟悉。她优雅的形象总是受到女孩们的追捧。尽管赫本去世多年,但她的电影还是非常经典的,许多年轻女孩还是喜欢看她的电影,她们试图表现得像她一样优雅。赫本就像天使,不仅非常漂亮,而且有一颗非常善良的心。她做慈善,关心穷人的孩子,去贫困地区看望孩子们。她呼吁人们帮助这些可怜的孩子。赫本的优雅永恒。

精选读者点评

赫本去非洲拍《天使在人间》那会儿,连蚊帐都没得用,你还写她“像天使”,真天使哪有不被叮包的?下回查查资料,把“慈善”具体成“给索马里孩子发奶粉”试试?