特别的礼物 special gift

【导语】小学英语作文:特别的礼物 special gift,中英双语自然对照,体现语言学习意识,情节简洁完整,起承转合清晰。

特别的礼物 special gift

作文范文

主题: 亲情、理解、等待、关爱、包容、感动

特别的礼物 special gift

though lucy sometimes is very naughty, she is a good girl. someday, when she is shopping with her mother, she wants her mother to buy a dress for her, but her mother refuses, because lucy has too much clothes. lucy feels so lost. but two days later, her mother gives her the special gift and it is the dress. this is love from a mother.

露西是一个好女孩,虽然她有时很淘气。有一天,她和妈妈在购物时她希望妈妈给她买一条裙子,但她妈妈拒绝了,因为露西有太多衣服了。露西感到很失落,但两天后,她妈妈给了她一份特别的礼物,那就是那条裙子。这就是妈妈的爱。

精选读者点评

露西要裙子时“感到很失落”,这个“很”字删掉,反而更让人心急。后面“那就是那条裙子”太直,试试改成“摊开在她手心里的,正是那条裙子”。爱藏在细节里,别急着点破。

名师·深度剖析

作文类型:记叙文、双语作文

【成语使用】

【形容词】

淘气、特别、失落、太多、好、 naughty

【好词好句】

1. “though lucy sometimes is very naughty, she is a good girl.”

2. “this is love from a mother.”

3. “露西是一个好女孩,虽然她有时很淘气。”

【修辞手法】

【文字校对】

• "someday"应为"one day"

• "is shopping"应为"was shopping"

• "wants"应为"wanted"

• "refuses"应为"refused"

• "feels so lost"应为"felt very disappointed"或"felt very sad"

【写作亮点】

✓ 中英双语自然对照,体现语言学习意识

✓ 情节简洁完整,起承转合清晰

✓ 通过日常小事折射母爱主题,以小见大

✓ 人物形象鲜明,性格特征在细节中自然流露

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