my sister

200字
主题:童年趣事、生活小意外、情绪变化、机智应对

my sister

my sister likes swimming .she always goes swimming in summer.but last summer she was very unlucky.

she put her clothes in an old locker.it was hard to lock it.then she went to swimming .and she played happily in the swimming pool.two hours later,she went out the water and took out the key to the locker. but soon she found she can open it at all.she spent about half an hour to open it but nothing happened.of course she couldn wear a swimming suit and go out.she was worry about it.

at last she was angry.she kicked the locker.and it opened!!!!

精选读者点评

这“踢 locker”的结尾历历在目!动作干脆,情绪真实,比写十句“她很生气”都管用。再想想:要是把“踢”的前一秒,脚悬在半空、咬着嘴唇、汗珠滴进眼睛,补半句,劲儿就更足啦。

我的姐姐

200字
主题:童年趣事、生活小插曲、情绪变化、成长经历

my sister likes swimming.she always goes swimming in summer.but last summer she was very unlucky.

she put her clothes in an old locker.it was hard to lock it.then she went to swimming.and she played happily in the swimming pool.two hours later,she went out the water and took out the key to the locker.but soon she found she can open it at all.she spent about half an hour to open it but nothing happened.of course she couldn wear a swimming suit and go out.she was worry about it.

at last she was angry.she kicked the locker.and it opened!

精选读者点评

妹妹踢 locker 那下太传构思巧妙!“踢”字一出,画面全活,建议把“worry”改成“worried”,时态别漏掉小尾巴。

小学生满分英语作文范文

200字
主题:童年趣事、生活小意外、成长体验

小学生满分英语作文范文

my sister likes swimming.she always goes swimming in summer.but last summer she was very unlucky.

she put her clothes in an old locker.it was hard to lock it.then she went to swimming.and she played happily in the swimming pool.two hours later,she went out the water and took out the key to the locker.but soon she found she can open it at all.she spent about half an hour to open it but nothing happened.of course she couldn wear a swimming suit and go out.she was worry about it.

at last she was angry.she kicked the locker.and it opened!

精选读者点评

把“踢 locker”写得灵动传神!那个“踢一下就开了”的瞬间,真像亲眼看见,话说回来“worry about it”这句语法悄悄溜了脚,下次试试“she worried”!