
✎作文范文
today is my father’s birthday, but he doesn’t celebrate it. it’s because he must work today. i say happy birthday to him in the morning. and i prepare a birthday card for him, which i draw it by myself. i wrote “happy birthday to you, my dear daddy. best wishes from your dear daughter. i love you.” when i gave it to him, he was so happy and smiled to me. at night, we have a delicious dinner which is my father’s favorite dishes cooked by my mother. she says it’s her birthday gift to my father. i think it’s enough because we all enjoy the dinner. my father says that my mother and i give him a happy and beloved birthday.
今天是我爸爸的生日,但是他没有特别地庆祝,因为他今天还要工作。早上,我对他说生日快乐,并把自己准备的生日贺卡给他。我在贺卡上写:“祝亲爱的爸爸生日快乐,您亲爱的女儿给您送上最美的祝福,我爱您。”我把贺卡送给他时,他开心地对我笑了。晚上,我们吃了一顿美味的晚餐,都是爸爸喜欢的菜色。妈妈说这是她为爸爸准备的生日礼物。我认为这足够了,因为我们都吃得很尽兴。爸爸说我和妈妈给了他一个快乐、情意浓浓的生日。
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型:记叙文、书信体
适合年级:小学五年级、六年级、初中一年级
【成语使用】
情意浓浓
【形容词】
美味、开心、亲爱、快乐、情意浓浓、尽兴、特别、可爱
【好词好句】
1. “祝亲爱的爸爸生日快乐,您亲爱的女儿给您送上最美的祝福,我爱您。”
2. “我和妈妈给了他一个快乐、情意浓浓的生日。”
3. “早上,我对他说生日快乐,并把自己准备的生日贺卡给他。”
【修辞手法】
【文字校对】
• "which i draw it by myself"应为"which i drew by myself"
• "i wrote"应为"i wrote"
• "he was so happy and smiled to me"应为"he was so happy that he smiled at me"
• "it’s because he must work today"应为"it’s because he has to work today"
• "we have a delicious dinner which is my father’s favorite dishes cooked by my mother"应为"we had a delicious dinner of my father’s favorite dishes, cooked by my mother"
【写作亮点】
✓ 双语对照自然,中英文内容呼应紧密
✓ 情感真挚,细节生动,如“亲手画贺卡”“写满爱意的祝福语”
✓ 时间线索清晰,以“早上—晚上”为序展开叙事
✓ 人物语言简洁温暖,体现家庭温情氛围