✎作文范文
currently,my school is launching an activity whose theme is that actions change the world to advocate the low carbon living.
in the activity,we are required to go to school or some other place by bike or by foot as much as possible instead of by bus.and when the christmas comes,sending e-greeting cards instead of tridional cards of which are made of wood as we know.besides,we should use both sides of every piece of paper and we should save water as well as electricity.
i believe that only we do thus can we have a better living environment.
there are still many problems of environmental protection in recent years. one of the most serious problems is the serious pollution of air, water and soil. the polluted air does great harm to people’s health. the polluted water causes diseases and death. what is more, vegetation had been greatly reduced with the rapid growth of modern cities.
to protect the environment, governments of many countries have done a lot. legislative steps have been introduced to control air pollution, to protect the forest and sea resources and to stop any environmental pollution. therefore, governments are playing the most important role in the environmental protection today. ad:from joozone.com.
in my opinion, to protect environment, the government must take even more concrete measures. first, it should let people fully realize the importance of environmental protection through education. second, much more efforts should be made to put the population planning policy into practice, because more people means more people means more pollution. finally, those who destroy the environment intentionally should be severely punished. we should let them know that destroying environment means destroying mankind themselves.
精选读者点评
名师·深度剖析
作文类型：议论文、环保主题倡议文
适合年级：初二、初三、高一
【成语使用】
危害健康、疾病死亡、植被减少、环境污染、人口膨胀、毁林造城
【形容词】
低碳、严重、迅速、现代、重要、具体、严厉、珍贵
【好词好句】
1. “actions change the world”
2. “sending e-greeting cards instead of traditional cards of which are made of wood”
3. “destroying environment means destroying mankind themselves”
【修辞手法】
比喻：将环境比作人类生存的根基，隐含“皮之不存，毛将焉附”的逻辑关系
引用：“actions change the world”体现行动哲学理念，呼应国际环保思潮
排比：连用“first…second…finally…”构建清晰的建议层次
【文字校对】
• "tridional"应为"traditional"
• "had been greatly reduced"时态错误，应为"has been greatly reduced"
• "ad:from joozone.com."属无关插入语，应删除
• "let them know that destroying environment means destroying mankind themselves"中"mankind themselves"主谓不一致，应为"mankind itself"
【写作亮点】
✓ 主题鲜明，紧扣低碳生活与环境保护双重维度
✓ 结构清晰，从校园活动切入，延伸至社会问题与政策建议
✓ 逻辑递进，由现象到成因再到对策，形成完整论述链
✓ 语言具有现实感和呼吁力，体现青年责任意识
